This response is everything
When we feel slighted, disrespected, hated on, this is how we ought to respond.
This NFL offseason, the Pittsburgh Steelers pursued and got the quarterback of their choice, Aaron Rodgers. They waited longer than most fans would have liked but they got their guy.
Dealing with off-the-field personal issues, Rodgers took his time to sign his contract with the Steelers.
This didn’t go over well with the fans or the members of the media. The talking heads and the internet had a field day taking shots at the controversial quarterback, including former Steelers quarterback, Terry Bradshaw.
During a radio interview, Bradshaw blasted the notion of the Steelers pursuing Rodgers.
“That's a joke. That is, just to me, is a joke,” Bradshaw opined. “What are you going to do? Bring him in for one year, are you kidding me? That guy needs to stay in California. Go somewhere and chew on bark and whisper to the gods out there.”
Rodgers is in the final year of what is sure to be a Hall of Fame career. Despite being a controversial figure with his opinions and his unconventional off-season activities, he’s had a storied career and has certainly earned more respect than what Bradshaw gave him.
Everyone of us would think we were owed more respect than that.
Everyone of us would be offended.
Everyone of us would take a shot back when given the opportunity.
But Rodgers took a different route.
He could’ve chose a war of words that would have drawn more attention to himself, which would fit the narcissistic narrative his biggest critics so often regurgitate.
He could’ve be bothered by it.
He could’ve ignored it.
But he addressed it.
“Terry's a legend. He's an absolute legend. He won four Super Bowls. He's had a legendary career in the media. But Terry, like a lot of people, doesn't know me,” Rodgers responded. “I'd love to get to know Terry on a deeper level and I feel like if he gave me a chance to get to know him then we'd have a good friendship.”
One of the main themes of Stoicism - that is often repeated by Ryan Holiday - is the idea that we don’t control what happens to us, but we do control how we respond to whatever happens to us.
Rodgers can’t control what people say or think about him. But he can control how he responds to criticism and the negative remarks.
Responding to the haters with respect and extending an invitation to friendship is a tall task.
But this is the great thing to do.
When we feel slighted, disrespected, hated on, this is how we ought to respond.
We’ve all said things we regret, things that weren’t true, or things that are disrespectful.
It happens all the time.
We can’t get caught up when someone else does the same. If we got caught up in every time this happened we’d never have the time to get anything done. Our time and energy are too precious to waste obsessing over what people say or think about us.
Instead of obsessing over disrespectful people, we could take a page out of Abraham Lincoln’s playbook.
“I don’t like that man. I must get to know him better,” Lincoln said.
We see this played out in this very moment, Rodgers wants to get to know Bradshaw better. It is the only opportunity they have at understanding each other.
When we encounter difficult people, people that we don’t like, people that don’t like us, we must strive to understand them better. We must communicate with them and try to find some common ground.
Choosing to be the bigger person, choosing to take the higher road, is a challenging step on this path to greatness.
In taking this step we remove the focus from ourselves and aim our focus towards others - finding common ground, righting a wrong, and creating better relationships with those around us.